Counselling Services

We provide supportive counselling services to guide individuals, couples and families through periods of change, transition and emotional complexity.

Relationship & Separation Support

• Pre-divorce / Pre-separation counselling
• Post-divorce / separation support (2–4 sessions)
• Emotional and practical transition guidance for individuals and families

Parenting & Co-Parenting

• Parenting and co-parenting support
• Post-mediation support to implement Parenting Plans (2–4 sessions)
• Guidance on communication, boundaries and stability for children

Parenting Co-ordination (PC)

PC PROCESS SEPARATE FROM LEGAL & LITIGATION MATTER

The Parent Co-ordination process is not a forensic process.

The Parent Co-ordination process proceeds irrespective of whether the parents/parties legal matter is active or not, and Court dates are scheduled or not.

PC ROLE BRIEF OVERVIEW

The parents are now separated/divorced, each parent lives in their own home.

Your children have to deal with the transitions between your homes.

The parents’ focus is to support your children with their transitions between homes. Allow a period of time for your child to settle in without your child being met with an immediate barrage of questions, instructions or expectations to immediately engage in family tasks.

The PC was appointed to assist the parents to manage parenting their children in 2 homes.

The PC is a third party to assist the parents to separate their emotional history from spilling over into their parenting role of their children.

Never wanting to see or speak to the other parent does not mean that you can indefinitely avoid conferring about some important parenting decisions concerning your children.    

Decisions are always preceded by discussions and thorough consideration of the issue/s, various alternatives, options, etc. before a decision is reached, with the aim of reaching consensus, agreement. This is aimed at paving a way forward where effective methods, structures, guidelines, are put in place for the major and regular topics that crop up as clashes, communication lapses, shortcomings, etc. Once these are ironed out, parenting and coparenting should proceed more comfortably with less need for regular communication, only when something unexpected happens.

PSYCHO-EDUCATION – LITERATURE

High Parental Conflict, Family Disruption, and Divorce

Ongoing parental conflict is associated with a higher degree of developmental risk. Marital relationships that are full of anger and conflict, or distancing, create insecure environments for the child. The effects of chronic marital conflict spill over into parenting, as parents become less psychologically available to their children and less invested in maintaining family cohesion (Struge-Apple, Davies, & Cummings, 2006). As a result, the child’s sense of emotional security diminishes, and she is likely to become more emotionally reactive, more easily dysregulated, more negative, and often more aggressive. These effects are especially strong when the parents triangulate the child into the conflict, by arguing about her or requiring her to take sides (Davies, Sturge-Apple, Cicchetti, & Cummings, 2008; Davies, Sturge-Apple, Winter, Cummings, & Farrell, 2006). Fighting that puts the child in the middle predicts more behaviour problems, as well as shame and guilt (Kelly, 2000). Some children exposed to frequent parental fighting take on a caregiver role to the parent with whom they are aligned. Conflicted couples are more likely to have different values regarding childrearing and discipline, and they act out these differences, again with the child in the middle (Katz & Woodin, 2002). Davies, D. (2011). Child Development. (3^rd Ed).

Causes and Consequences of Loyalty Conflicts in Families of Divorce

A loyalty conflict occurs when a person feels that she must choose between two people rather than having a relationship with both of them. Loyalty conflicts in families of divorce harm children, they cause stress and worry, create pressure on children to choose a side, cause children to experience confusion about the worth of their parents, and teach children unhealthy ways of relating to people. When a child gives in to the pressure to choose a side, this can lead to problems. The child loses a relationship with one parent. Secondly, they have given up the ability to think for themselves, and have adopted one parent’s opinions, views, and beliefs. This dependency makes it hard to deal with peer pressure, make their own career choices, and become self-sufficient adults. Thirdly, when a child later realises it was wrong to choose one parent over the other, she may suffer from guilt, low self-esteem, and depression later in life.(9)

The reasons that coparents draw their children into loyalty conflicts is that feeling as though they are the favoured parent helps reduce feelings of jealousy, fear, guilt, shame, sadness, loneliness, anger, or emotional trauma/injury. Coparents use 5 behaviours to induce loyalty conflicts. These behaviours work with one another to create conflict and distance in your relationship with your child. These involve: i) sending poisonous messages about you; ii) interfering with contact and communication; iii) erasing and replacing; iv) encouraging your child to betray your trust; and v) undermining your authority and fostering dependency in your child.

As a coparent your goal is to deepen and strengthen your bond with your child so that your child is less susceptible to the other parent’s attempts to interfere with and undermine your relationship. Positive parenting can help you achieve that goal. The core concepts of positive parenting include achieving a balanced parenting style, instilling respect, fostering critical-thinking skills in your child, avoiding power struggles, fostering responsibility in your child, identifying ownership of problems, having appropriate expectations of your child, encouraging your child, demonstrating appreciation of your child, and being self-aware. Parenting strategies that will enhance your relationship with your child include keeping the door to communication open, active listening, nondirective play, praise and encouragement, emotion coaching, training, inviting cooperation, offering choices, and family meetings. (Baker, A J L, and Fine, P R. (2014). Coparenting with a Toxic Ex.)

Supporting Your Family Through Transition

Separation and divorce are not only changes between two adults — they are transitions that deeply affect the entire family, especially children.

While a couple’s relationship may be ending, a child’s relationship with both parents remains constant. There is no simple way to “untangle” the emotional bonds, shared experiences and sense of security that children rely on. This creates a unique and often overwhelming challenge: how to navigate major change without disrupting your child’s sense of stability, safety and everyday life.

Children still need to go to school, participate in activities, maintain friendships and feel at home — even while their parents are going through significant emotional and structural changes.

You Don’t Have to Navigate This Alone

Counselling provides a safe, guided space to help you make sense of this transition — both as individuals and as parents.

Through counselling, you will:

Gain clarity on how to support your child/ren emotionally

Learn practical ways to maintain stability and routine

Navigate co-parenting dynamics with greater confidence

Reduce the emotional burden during an already challenging time

By focusing on your child’s needs while also supporting your own adjustment, counselling allows you to move through this transition with greater awareness, balance and care.

A Space to Rebuild and Move Forward

Our approach is centred on helping you restructure your family life in a way that protects your children while giving you the space to process, heal and rebuild.

Because even in change, stability is possible — and support makes all the difference.